Becoming Intuitive Through Life Lessons, Anxiety & Gemstones
Releasing and decreasing anxiety has been a work in progress for years, it cycles with rises and falls, I’ve been on an upswing recently. Though to my contentment, this recent wave of anxiety has been fall less severe than in years past. I’ve chalked it up to a lot of things going on all at once that gets a bit emotionally overwhelming. I cope in lots of different ways, making the most of down time with exercise, meditation or receiving energy work and massage. One of the main ways I ease anxiety is with therapeutic gemstones, as that is my love and my work. Within the last two weeks I transitioned from using my typical gemstone choices to ease anxiety. Instead I felt I needed a new direction to help this chronic challenge, the idea of “strength” kept repeating over and over in my head, emphasis on becoming emotionally and mentally stronger when faced with new challenges and change. With that came the inner desire to wear blue lace agate and pink coral.
Pink coral spoke to me for its ability to repair and strengthen a part of our energetic structure called the powerhouse, which plays an important role in our vitality for physical and emotional wellbeing.
Blue Lace Agate felt appropriate for the task because it strengthens by aligning and purifying the energy of our body to allow us to be who we truly are with more confidence and resilience. After wearing these gemstones constantly for almost two weeks, I now realize the weight of how much and how long my confidence has really been stifled through recent changes.
This month my confidence in my work faltered greatly. The whole month has seemed like a bust, week one, two and three, multiple appointments with clients canceled from sickness, emergencies, forgetfulness and conflicts. Never has this happened in such volume, at first it was frustrating, by week three it was practically comical, my husband and I are ready to start placing bets on my remaining appointments. In this time I felt the need to work, not just for financial reasons but I want to work. I love my work. I think my work is important and when sitting around not doing it, time feels wasted. I asked myself, so if I have no clients to see, what will I do? I wanted to work on something and thought I could stand to work on my intuition and intuitive reading.
Since my Advanced Medical Intuition Workshop with Tina Zion back in April, I’ve been putting her wonderful teachings to work in my sessions but still tripping up on a few things-so there is indeed room for improvement. What has been tripping me up? Lack of confidence. Getting a piece of intuitive information and tormenting myself with it. Should I say that? What if I’m wrong, I’ll look like a complete fool. Only to then have my client say the same thing I was thinking first, then the information is lost. It wouldn’t be believable to say, “I was picking up on that too.” Or rushing my intuitive assessments to get my client on the table for the “real work” to then miss a big piece of intuitive information that effects their daily life, losing a bit of credibility.
So with my down time I decided to practice doing intuitive readings. But where to easily get these people to work with? Facebook was my first thought. I went back and forth with that idea for a good twenty-four hours before I got up the courage to post about it. Intuitive reading is not something I’ve made widely known to most people personally or professionally, out of fear. If I post about it on my personal page, what will people think? What will my religious friends and family think? What will people I went to high school and college think? Will they think I’m weird and foolish? I hate to look foolish, feeling like I have to defend my stance and logic of my work and what I can do.
After I finally did post my request, I was met with numerous people from different stages in my life interested in a reading. Doing the readings has been incredibly freeing and uplifting. I’ve said many times to others, one of the most frustrating things to be is equally intuitive as you are analytical and skeptical. Every intuitive hit I get, I question. Once I was in a session and got a repeating scene in my mind’s eye of my client being in water, like an ocean, looking toward the underside of a boat and pulled out of the water by someone in the boat. My client confirmed that exact scenario happened when they needed to be rescued from the water while on vacation. I wracked my brain for days, what the probability was that I just guessed it, to convince myself I wasn’t as “good” at this as it seemed.
But doing my recent readings has been incredibly validating. Responses like “spot on” and “scarily accurate” blew me away. I’m accepting it now, I’m an intuitive and I’m really good at it.
Over those couple days the anxiety had subsided as I filled with excitement from the results. I posted a photo of one of my drawings from a reading on my Instagram and Facebook, again another big step. An act for me that symbolized coming out of hiding, sharing publicly this is part of my work and part of me.
After I posted, feelings of anxiety started to creep up again. Immediately I thought of switching my gemstones, I had taken off my pink coral and blue lace agate for two days and had the urge to put them back on, that it would be helpful to calm me down. I picked them up out of the dish and a light went off in my head. Strength! Confidence! The gemstones had been my sudden inspiration to put myself out there with my intuitive skills. I had been wearing them for a week and a half before this abrupt urge to be courageous and only took them off after I posted on Facebook and began immersing myself in readings for two days.
For years I have been in inner turmoil not just from anxiety but most likely anxiety perpetuated by struggling to accept who I am, something out of the norm, something not everyone understands or condones. I realize now how damaging the self-talk has been. Am I crazy? It’s not normal to see or feel this stuff. Was I just a wanna be like psychics you see on TV? Was any of this actually real? That’s what hurt, it felt so real, it felt great when I used my intuition, great to see people feel better and confirm my impressions yet I doubted myself again and again. I’ve struggled with shame. Do I really want to say that’s who I am? Erin Sikopoulos, Licensed Massage Therapist, Gemstone Energy Medicine Practitioner, wife, mother or two, dance instructor and………Intuitive?
The gemstones blue lace agate and pink coral were the catalysts I needed to look at who I really am and find the confidence to share it, that has given me immense strength. Once again, my skeptical mind would say it could very well be coincidence. But I put those gems on with the intention of building strength then made huge unexpected leaps in a week’s time that I struggled to do in three years. From years of second guessing, embarrassment and confusion I suddenly ordered new business cards that stated “Trained Intuitive” for the world to see, right between Licensed Massage Therapist and Gemstone Energy Medicine Practitioner. I’ve publically revealed this is what I do and went out on a limb to do a bunch of in depth readings with accuracy.
So here I am now, not even completely through this month of ups and downs, reflecting on my new found strength, confidence and inner peace. Thankful for all the positive influences, teachings and tools I have that lead me here. Especially grateful to gemstone energy medicine, that is always in my corner, standing in the background, helping me continue to be the best version of me I can be.